Safety
“Are you safe?”
I looked at my phone and immediately responded with “Yes, you?”
Much like a simple reflex.
When I searched myself and paused to listen, my answer wasn’t quite as swift and succinct.
I grew up with a somewhat unique relationship with safety. It didn’t always come naturally. It wasn’t until well into my adult life that I discovered that it would be up to me to make a genuine, consistent effort to achieve it. A lack of psychological safety as a youth resulted in being hyper vigilant and overly concerned with my surroundings.
In my training to become a coach I had an exercise where I was instructed to ask my peers for feedback about the “essence” I bring into a room. How I show up or present myself in my coaching may impact the experience of my clients. It’s something for all coaches to understand and work through.
One person I asked said that I enter into a space with an air of “caution”.
That made me pause to consider.
Where was I committing my energy and focus?
As I write these words our nation is in an uproar of epic proportion. These times are described as a pandemic within a pandemic. Civil unrest and social injustice are the order of the day. What that looks like in this moment is burning buildings, gunfire, tear gas, dogs, and looting.
As an aside, for context, I’ll insert here -
My mom is from South Central Los Angeles. She lived there through the movements the 1970’s. I’ve spoken with her many times about the civil rights and social justice. I often thought about what I might do if I lived in a different era. Both she and I presumed I would be a protester, marching out on the front lines.
Our hypothetical conversations led me to grow up asking myself, what do I believe in enough that I am willing to be killed to defend?
There in lies the problem.
When human lives are at risk, where does one find solace and safety?
I give my attention to social issues, especially those relating to prejudice, injustice, and oppression. Not only do they directly affect my family and community, I am extremely sensitive to the human condition. It’s hard for me be idle and bear witness to someone else’s pain. Over the years I learned how to hold space and affect change through leadership and coaching.
Even knowing all this, I find myself unwilling to risk it all to fight for a cause I deeply believe in. On some levels I wondered what that said about my character.
Former U.S. President, Calvin Coolidge once said, “Nothing is of greater importance than the conservation of human life."
Then what is the measuring stick for being active in the movement? How much room is there for self-compassion and grace? What is the best way to respond and maintain my commitment to personal safety?
