Mastery

“Mastery is the deepening of presence, not the perfection of skill” – Marcia Reynolds.

I can relate to practicing perfection.

The first time I read this quote it hit me like a ton of bricks!

I’d spent most of my life striving to achieve perfection in everything I did.

Take for example, I am a skilled note taker. Thinking back to grade school, I can recall my peers asking me to repeat the instructions they missed. Listening and taking detailed notes was easy for me. I interpreted that to mean I was good at being present.

Somewhere in my personal development journey I discovered that what I identified as “being” present was actually “doing” present.

What the heck do I mean?!

I was so busy with all the “doing” and to-do lists. I didn’t give much thought to being fully engaged. I thought recording and organizing everything was what mattered. I became a “professional doer”.

The first time I noticed the impact of this was with my family. Believe it or not, family members are some of our greatest teachers...

I used to be the designated family photographer. As you can imagine, I took my self-appointed role very seriously! Being a “professional doer” meant that it was critically important for me to capture every moment in a specific way. I’d start with the family in each household. Then I’d arrange everyone by generation. My sisters could always be counted on to color coordinate and pose. No problems there. The babies needed a significant amount of attention to capture each year of growth… On the off change that my dad agreed to take a selfie I struck when the iron was hot!

That went on for a few years. Ever more as technology evolved. Until I discovered a major problem. I couldn’t remember any details about the family gatherings. Most people can remember their last family Thanksgiving dinner, right? Well, not me! While I was hyper-focused on being family photographer, I was missing the moment. Posting a picture was the only evidence I had to say I was there.

Observing life through a camera lens is not the same as living it. You heard it here first, my friend!

When I finally understood what it meant for me to be fully present in my life, there was a significant shift. How I showed up, what I engaged in, and who I engaged with suddenly changed overnight. I committed to “being present”. Spending my life observing and taking notes didn’t seem as important.  

When I release the need for perfection, I appreciate what’s in front of me. The practice of deepening my presence reminded me of who I “be”.  

Here are today’s questions.

What can you do to deepen your presence? In doing so, who will you become?